Before I do anything else, I'd like to apologize to every person who feels offended by the beliefs and opinions stated within this journal entry.

Yesterday, two DeviantArt members drew my attention to a prolonged argument between them and the mass of people who ended up in the crossfire. I want to respect the privacy of these people, so I am not going to list any names. Although many harsh words traveled between all those involved, I noticed that not a single member there considered the issues from an objective standpoint. Therefore, I took the liberty of skimming through the opinions and comments posted by these members.

After considering all the details and events leading up to, and through, the argument, I attempted to give each side a general idea as to why the opposing side felt and behaved in the ways they chose. However, I felt very unnerved by the thought of offending someone without any real intention of doing so. Because of this, most of my comments ended up as nothing more than long lists of gibberish. I tried to revise my comments and give them a point of interest to focus on, but I panicked every time. This cycle went on until I finally gave up and accepted that I could not carry such an argument on my own.

Now, I realize that attempting such a feat on my own was a bad decision on my part. The argument, itself, held too many points of interest and explaining it objectively required the understanding of several viewpoints. So, I'll admit that it was another mistake, on my part, to believe I could argue from all of these viewpoints at once.

In all honesty, this is not the first time I've made such a foolish mistake. In fact, I often end up harming myself because I want to be as kind and helpful as I can to everyone around me. These and other impulsive behaviors and beliefs normally make me a prime target of people who want to take everything they can from those around them. Nevertheless, I've learned to just let these things roll off my back. I do not see a point in viewing the brash behavior of others as a personal attack because it will only make matters worse.

Lastly, I'm starting to get annoyed with people who accuse me of being a liar, a freak, and being Emo because I have a curiosity of what may await us after death. This curiosity is not the same as the concepts behind worldly death. I will admit, I did post a comment yesterday that pertained to what I've lived through; but, that does not mean I am comfortable with these events or speaking up about them. I left out many, many details of what really happened because every time I work up the courage to share the details of my life thus far, I always end up on the brink of tears if I dwell on the subject for too long. There, now I've said it, are you happy now?! I want to know if there is another life that awaits us after we die because I cannot bear to believe death is the end. I just can't accept that I'll never have the chance to see my loved ones again. If I can find proof that the souls of Grandma and Dad are still living on within another plane of existence, it would bring more relief to my restless, tortured psyche than anything else in this world. I just want to know, I have to know that death is not the end of us and I will search for the answers to my questions all the way to my grave, if I have to. I missed the only chances I had to say goodbye and let my loved ones know I will always love them, even if I cannot have them here with me.

I won't list any names, but you know who you are. You attacked me, you degraded me, you slandered the good names of my loved ones and spoke of them will an ill intent. You lowly, inhuman monsters went out of your way to destroy my life and send me spiraling down into the depths of despair. Through all of your best efforts and all of the strikes you've made, you still bear witness to a man that will not buckle or break under the weight of your pathetic attacks. If losing the people I cared about the most could not make me cave, what makes you think your petty attempts will fare any better? There isn't a single person among you who will ever keep me down or break my spirit because I know Grandma and Dad would want me to live on and enjoy every day to its fullest, not matter what other people think of it.